I have been coaching for over 5 years and one of the most common blocks I hear people share is that they feel they don’t have time for self-care. Their reasoning typically sounds like: “Amidst work, travel, personal responsibilities, kids, and maintaining friendships, where is there time to cook healthy meals, exercise, meditate and create introspective space, etc.?” I get it. We all have 24 hours in the day and we all use our time differently based on our values and priorities. And of course privilege influences the amount of support and extra hands or resources you can use to multitask and take back some of your time. But even if there is a 30-minute window in your day where you think about squeezing in a workout or if you want to decline an invite to a dinner party with friends so that you can get a good night’s sleep, the hesitation isn’t necessarily that “I don’t have time to do everything I want.” The hesitation is from a deeper block: can I give myself permission to use this time for myself? Can I choose myself over someone or something else?
I welcome you to explore:
Where in your life do you notice you get caught in this conversation? Where in your life is calling for permission? Maybe it is permission to go to bed earlier? Permission to take a workout class during your lunch hour? Permission to say no to a dinner party? Permission to leave the dirty dishes in the sink overnight? Permission to not be a perfectionist? Permission to feel your feelings?
This act of giving oneself permission is a practice in self-compassion. It is where we can soften that voice that says do more, be more, go faster, don’t stop and instead sprinkle some words of understanding so that we soothe and comfort ourselves and know we are enough and doing enough. We don’t have to feel guilty for picking ourselves over something else. Instead, the mindset can switch to picking myself is healthy. We get to remember that it is not sustainable to give 110% to everyone and everything if we are not filling our own cups first. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t want to silence this voice or cut motivation and drive. Hell no. But we do want to make sure our tanks are full so that we are living and grooving instead of feeling depleted, exhausted or burning out.
This is the act of self-care that is sustainable. It is the inner work we get to refine so that life on the outside feels in alignment and we can live in our flow.
Print out these permission slips and keep them by your desk, fridge, bedside table, etc. Remind yourself that you deserve to be the authority of your own life.
