Image by Patrick Buggy
Have you heard of Stephen Covey’s time management analogy with rocks, pebbles, sand and a jar?
Personally, I hadn’t, but when I heard my mentor, Jenny Blake, talk about it on her Free Time podcast, I loved the imagery and wanted to share this with you all.
Question:
If you have a big jar, rocks, pebbles and sand, how do you get them to all fit into the jar?
Answer:
You want to add the big rocks in first, followed by the pebbles, followed by the sand.
If you do it any other way, you won't be able to fit everything in the jar.
This visual is meant to symbolize life and how we choose to use our time and fill our life. Ideally, we want to prioritize the “big rocks” in life first, followed by the smaller “pebbles”, followed by the sand, which symbolizes the extra distractions or excess things to do in life.
Now what typically happens in our modern day world, and especially with my ambitious and perfectionista clients, is that our minds dream up unrealistic expectations that we can fit too many “big rocks” into our day.
Society also creates these unrealistic expectations that we can squeeze more and more out of our 24 hours.
By the end of the day, we might feel frustrated, burned out and sometimes defeated because we feel we didn’t get enough done or failed because not all of the big rocks got prioritized.
Can you relate to being in this mindset?
Let’s pause here and slowly zoom out.
When we use this visual tool, I find it helpful and grounding to realize we aren’t robots or superheroes who can stretch time and make our “jar of life” even bigger to cram even more to-dos.
We are human beings and we get to have a grounded realistic expectation of ourselves about what priorities we actually get done.
We get to do the inner work of untangling from the internal dialogue that ‘we aren’t doing enough’ as well as get even more laser-focused and specific about our priorities.
We get to remember that we can’t be everything to everybody.
We get to remember that it’s ok if all of our “big rocks” weren't taken care of because most likely, there will always be more “big rocks.”
So what do we do?
We remember to pause. To breathe. To get centered and clear.
We get to give ourselves permission to drop the superhero mentality that we can do it all AND give ourselves permission to detach our worth from our outcomes.
It’s much more enjoyable to live life from the present moment and celebrate that we are doing enough and that we are enough, instead of creating unrealistic expectations that put unnecessary burden and pressure on us.
Want more coaching support getting centered and being laser-focused with your priorities? Sign up for a Connection Call to explore if coaching 1:1 is a fit. I have 2 spots open this month!