Kick Off Your Summer with Playful Vibes!

July 4th truly feels like the beginning of those quintessential summer vibes, doesn’t it?

With the long holiday weekend on the horizon, I can almost smell the fresh, sweet watermelon slices and the smoky aroma of a charcoal grill. Picture sunscreen-scented air and sticky fingers from melted ice pops. Play is in the air.

Play is an essential pillar of well-being, often forgotten in adulthood. We can easily get trapped in the “adulting” mindset, where responsibilities weigh us down, leaving little energy or mental capacity for play.

But here's the secret: play replenishes our energy. It doesn’t deplete it.

While playing all day, every day might not be feasible; imagine sprinkling a bit more play into our daily routines. What if we brought play into our work meetings? To our family dinners? What if cooking breakfast felt like play, or exercise became a joyful activity rather than a chore?

I admit, I can take life too seriously at times, wrapped up in the need to “move life” forward. Adhering to a strict schedule feels responsible and necessary.

However, I’ve learned that strict scheduling is often a form of control, a way to mitigate anxiety by planning every detail. My inner voice says, “If I plan and overschedule, nothing unpleasant can happen.”

But that approach doesn’t work. It’s not wrong—it's a way of trying to keep me safe. Yet, it also prevents me from living fully, shutting out spontaneity and the magic of the unexpected.

Life is too short not to play as much as possible. My nieces and nephews constantly remind me of this.

So, I’ve made it a mission to infuse play into all areas of my life, even the mundane chores like weeding the garden.

Here are some tangible ways I intentionally add more play into my days:

• Playing tennis during a lunch break

• Taking myself on a solo date

• Playing dress-up with my clothes

• Biking around the city

• Dancing while I cook

• Spontaneously having a picnic in the park

• Voice-noting my solopreneur community

• Taking webinars on a walk

• Having tough conversations in a more fun environment (ie. a cafe, park bench etc)

• Facetime kids for a mid-afternoon playful  pick-me-up

• Making flower bouquets from the garden or store

Let’s embrace the joy of play this summer. How will you bring more play into your life? Share with me below!

Emotional Well-Being

Last month, we kicked off a series in the "Wade a Minute" newsletter, where we will explore a different pillar of well-being each month. May was all about mental health. As we step into the summer fun energy of June, I invite us to tap into our emotional well-being. 

Years ago, one of my best girlfriends started asking me on our coffee dates or catch-up calls, "How's your heart doing these days?"

This question was a beautiful invitation to drop into my heart and connect to what's present. It was so different from the conditioned superficial question-and-answer dance: "Hey, how are you?" "Great, thanks. How are you?"

I've started asking myself this question daily as a powerful emotional check-in process.

Learning to label our emotions is a skill. A skill most of us weren't taught.

Naming our emotions gives us insights into our needs, which is an important aspect of embodying our humanness, learning how to communicate and being in relationship with the world.

A huge piece of emotional well-being is learning how to identify our emotions without letting them control us. Pema Chodron, a writer and Buddhist Nun says, "We are the sky, and everything else is the weather." This is a beautiful reminder of how expansive we are and how temporary our emotions, thoughts and experiences are.

Over the years, I've realized how vital honesty is to noticing and labeling emotions. It is vulnerable to meet ourselves where we are. It takes a lot of courage to feel what's present and shine a light on it.

So this month, I welcome you to be courageous and ask yourself and your loved ones, "How's your heart these days?" Listen with presence and share with honesty.

If you want more support tuning in, try this Daily Check-in Meditation. (The Centered in the City platform is being offered freely for the next few months.)

If you feel open, I'd love to hear from you! How's your heart doing today? Share with me in the comments below.  

Mental Health Awareness Month

Welcome to Mental Health Awareness Month 

As you know, I don’t believe our mental health gets to be evaluated one month a year. Mental health is a pillar of our well-being that deserves TLC, every day to the best of our abilities. 

Over the next few months, we’ll be exploring each pillar of our well-being to offer an introspective pause to support you in increasing your well-being in all areas of your life. 

Well-being Catagories: 

• Mental 

• Emotional 

• Physical 

• Soulful/ Spiritual 

• Financial

• Community / Service

• Environment 

• Creativity

• Play 

• Purpose

One of the first practices I walk clients through in their intake forms is understanding their present levels of satisfaction with all 10 areas of their well-being. 

This exercise helps us understand and orient to where energy is flowing and where in their life calls for more vitality. The purpose is not to strive for all areas of our lives to be at the highest satisfaction at the same time because that’s not reality. Perfectionism doesn’t exist. Striving for it only leads to disappointment and poor mental health. 

However, when we bring curiosity to this practice, we create more balance in the areas of our lives that call for more attention—areas we might be neglecting—areas that will help us thrive in our careers, relationships and health. 

For instance, currently, I am exploring how to enhance my well-being when it comes to the areas of my environement and emotional well-being. Living in an environment that fuels my soul has become an important exploration for me as well as healing some old emotional wounds. The journey of taking care of our well-being is never over—it continues to evolve. Being mindful of our well-being is one of the most important responsibilities we have because it is the life force behind everything we do. We only have one mind, one body and one life so let’s live them with intention. 

If you are curious to gauge where your well-being craves more balance, I am offering two forty-five-minute slots this month to my community members to help celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month. Sign Up here ( first come, first serve). This is an opportunity to learn more about yourself so that you can thrive lovingly without striving. 

This month as we collectively focus on our mental health, I welcome you to grab your journal and explore these prompts together.

• How do you define mental health?

• How do you know when your mental health is optimal? What do you feel internally? What do you notice externally in your life regarding your career, relationships and health?

• How do you know when your mental health needs more TLC? What do you feel internally? What do you notice externally in your life regarding your career, relationships and health?

• What are your go-to ways to prioritize your mental health?
  

Please share your responses with me here or share in the comments below. Sharing supports and inspires each other!

Some of my favorite ways to prioritize my mental health:

• Daily walks

• Pilates

• Meditation

• Eating fresh veggies

• Talking to a friend

• Working with my coach and therapist 

• Travel

Sunrise Chasing: How to Beat the Winter Blues

Seattle winters can be rough, weather wise. Some days you don’t see the sun at all. During the first winter of the pandemic, my husband and I started a practice that gave me a boost of energy and hope to navigate the figurative and literal gray days. It’s called sunrise chasing. If you follow me on Instagram, you have probably heard me preach this list practice in my stories and if not, welcome. :)
 

In the depths of winter, the sunrise is around 7:55 am. These days, I am waking up around 6 am so that I can fit in my writing. As I sit by candle light to write, I look out the window and watch the night sky slowly morph like transition glasses when coming inside from a sunny day.
 

That’s when I know time is getting close. I throw on my jacket over my PJs, grab my closest shoes and head out the door to greet the morning sky. I get excited to see the sunrise because to be honest, on certain really gray days, it’s the biggest light shift my eyes might witness.

Not only are there numerous mental health and circadian rhythm benefits to meeting the morning light (you can learn more about the science on the Huberman Podcast), but this morning dance also activates a childhood wonder that gives me a boost of endorphins for the rest of the day.
 

I walk out my front door on the west side of a hill and look up to notice the shades of colors projected on the morning sky. I feel like a dog hound sniffing for clues. I head east out of logical instinct, yet the magical aspect of sunrise chasing is that sometimes that’s not where the most light comes from. I get to stay present. Curious.
 

I wonder through the neighborhood without an agenda. I feel my body alive as I walk with an excited bounce in each step. I feel anticipation build—the same way a toddler dances in place with eagerness as their parents unwrap a lollypop. I examine the streets and sky like it is the first time I am seeing them. Even the most unimpressive sunrises are still beautiful. Any amount of light during this season feels nourishing.
 

Awe pours out of my mouth as I walk up the hill with my chin high, staring at the sky. Streaks of pink emerge. I start salivating because I know it is going to be a good one. I pause and turn around and see the early rays of the sunrise bouncing off of the Olympics in the west. The snow top mountains glow with a baby pink ruby color. My heart opens at the reverence of nature. I turn back around and continue to climb to the top of the hill— chasing the source of light.
 

At the top of the hill, I pause again. Going left is the logical choice where I know I will be able to see the sunrise and head back home in a more efficient manner. Yet, taking a right is where the most light is coming from and where my intuition wants to carry me.

I resist the urge to let my logical brain hijack the childhood wonder. I take a right and follow the longer route. A mini morning adventure awaits. Each second that goes by, each step I take, the sky morphs and changes. A reminder that nothing stays the same and life happens quickly.
 

I arrive at the source of light. Orange burning embers crackle behind the Cascade Mountains—illuminating the southern range. I pause to breathe in the beauty and pause to breathe out. I feel like a plug getting juiced up by the electrical socket of the sun. My whole face smiles as I stand there, soaking in the rays. I feel connected to something bigger than myself. Inspired by nature’s creative consistency. My eyes get wider as the morning light glows brighter.
 

I observe the sunrise for 2-10 minutes before feeling the need to return home and begin the workday. I head back with a full battery and so grateful to be alive. This practice gives me so much life that I notice on the days I don’t make it outside because of the excuses in my mind:
 

“It’s too dark of a morning. The sunrise and effort is not worth it.”

“Ughh, It’s raining so hard, I don’t want to put on all of those layers.”

“I don’t have enough time. It isn’t worth it”
 

I always regret it. I get a headache because my first breath of fresh hair then doesn’t happen until the afternoon. Cooped up energy suffocates my brainpower and spirit.
 

Sunrise chasing has become my daily(ish) morning pill to counteract the winter blues and carry some playful energy into my day. I start this practice when Daylight Saving time begins in November and I usually wind it down when spring arrives in March.

If you are looking for a boost of energy during the winter months, I welcome you to join me for some magical sunrise chasing adventures. 

Directions for your Sunrise Chasing Adventure:

• Ask Google what time sunrise will happen for you in your place in the world.

• Head out the door 5 minutes before and activate your childhood wonder as you look for the light to guide you. Try to let go of the logical brain. Let curiosity lead as you chase the light.

• Follow the light until you get as close to the morning source as possible. You don’t have to be on a hill or high point to see the morning light. Maybe you see streaks of sunlight illuminate in between buildings. Maybe you notice the light bouncing off of windows and casting shadows. If you live in an apt that can see the sunrise, then I welcome you to pause and watch the sunrise from your window or balcony. If you live in a relatively flat area, maybe you just look up and see the shades of color and shapes of clouds transform.

•  If you are commuting or taking the kiddos to school during the sunrise, see if you can get yourself and each other to pause and savor the light while in transition mode.
   

• Pause for a few moments to soak in the energy of the sunrise and charge your batteries. If it feels helpful for a dose of accountability and community, take a picture and share it with me on Instagram @OneWade #SunriseChasing. 

Holiday Gift Guide 2023: Well-being Travel, Goodies and Donation Ideas

Well-being Travel: 

Casa Sforza:

Beautiful adults-only hotel in Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca México. The architecture, food, beach and pool are beyond elegant and delicious. Just being in a well-designed space helps the mind and body relax. Despite not having a spa on-site, they offer amazing massages in your own room. A sexy place for a couple’s getaway. 

Adler Spa Resorts & Lodges:

The hotel in Sicily is an amazing place to receive holistic well-being. This hotel has it all.  They designed everything in the most thoughtful and intentional ways. This resort welcomes children with a kids club while also serving adults. The adults-only spa includes two gorgeous saunas, a steam room, a thermal bath and cold showers. Plus they offer workout classes, meditations, sound baths, electric bike rides, cooking classes and more. Contact me here to receive a €100 Spa Voucher for first-time bookings. 

Kindred:

Is a members-only home exchange community. They offer the freedom to travel around the country and work remotely while being comfortable and keeping things affordable. They just launched in Europe and also have homes available in Mexico. Anyone who stays at your home is also a member so there is a layer of mutual respect and trust. (Use my code: wad.bri to get 5 free nights once you're accepted)

Well-being Goodies:

Loftie Clock:

An alarm Clock that gives you everything you could want at bedtime minus the addictive apps that keep you up late at night. For instance, fall asleep with your favorite nature sounds, white noise or meditations. 

Le Labo Santal 33 body lotion:

This lotion has a calming and intoxicating scent that makes my skin feel both sexy and well-hydrated. 

Na Nin Candle:

Don't let the name of this scent fool you. This Cannabis & Opium Den Candle is my favorite candle to light when I need some inspiration to sit in my meditation practice or get into a creative mindset when writing.

Lure Essentials Cupping:

These safe and easy to use at home cupping help release tension and tightness in the body. I used them nightly on my feet, calves and IT band while training for my speed-walking marathon. 

Hoka Clifton Sneakers:

I didn't understand the hype of Hoka a few years ago and resisted jumping on the "trendy train." However, they have turned out to be the best walking shoes I have ever owned. Training and walking the marathon in these shoes felt blissful. It is always worth it to invest in a good pair of shoes. 

Needed Women’s Multi-Vitamins: I used to think multivitamins were not necessary. However, I am obsessed with how I feel after taking these vitamins for over a year now. They are an investment in my health. I experience less brain fog and feel healthier when taking them. They also now have multivitamins for men too!  (Use code: center for 20% off)

Abercrombie Sweater:

This is the coziest sweater to travel in that looks cute and yet I can sweat in it. It keeps me warm and can be dressed up with jeans or warm with leggings for a more athletic look. 

Spank's Drape Front Jacket:

This is my go-to jacket to travel in because I can dress it up or down for any occasion. I can also fit a light sweater underneath so it becomes a helpful layer piece for the colder moments.

Fleurvoyant Flowers: If you live in NYC, give yourself the gift of weekly fresh flowers. This curated delivery will add beauty and life to your space. Contact Emily@fleurvoyant.com.  

Centered in the City membership:
You know I am all about spreading those centered vibes. This virtual community is for those looking to create accessible daily moments that helps us pause and feel more grounded amid the busyness of life. Give yourself what you need with a growing holistic library of curated meditations, breathing techniques, mindful movement, journaling prompts and nourishing recipes. Save 40% off of an annual membership only with code: holidaylove40

Well-being Donations Ideas:

The Love Land Foundation:
Their fund provides financial assistance to Black women and girls seeking therapy, nationally.

Doctors without Borders:
Cares for people around the world affected by diseases and disasters.

Save The Children:
Helps feed, cloth and support children in crisis around the world.

National Network of Abortion Funds:
Abortion funds provide financial assistance, travel, lodging, and many other types of support to abortion seekers.

Adapt a Family for Christmas: 

Support family’s who are burdened with cancer bills by donating financially or offering gift cards. 

Speed-Walking Marathon Training & Life Lessons

In 11 days I’ll be doing something I’ve never done before. Something I never thought would be a priority. On November 12th, my husband and I will speed-walk the Athens, Greece Marathon. Yup, you read that correctly. We have been training for the last few months to walk the marathon in under 6 hours. This means we will hopefully average a 15-minute pace for over 26 miles. Just for reference, female Olympic speed walkers walk a mile in 7.30 mins. We are walking fast, but aren’t Olympians, yet :). 

Why walk a marathon, you might ask? Why not! I love walking so much, and this became one of my goals inspired by my Intention Setting process because my words of the year are patience and deep listening (p.s. updates for the 2024 Intention Setting Party will be shared this month). 

I’ve never done any sort of professional race before so I have no idea what to expect. Maybe that’s a good thing so that my “monkey mind” doesn’t create too many stories. Regardless, I am grateful for the lessons training has taught me that I can incorporate into my everyday life.

Top Three Lessons I Have Learned Thus Far : 

1. Make training fun!

I am reminded that experiences my mind initially labels as “hard” or “boring” don’t actually have to be!  For instance, doing a long training walk on the weekends doesn’t have to be arduous. Instead, we have picked new walking paths each weekend that have brought us 3-15 miles around the city of Seattle in various directions. It’s been so fun to explore new neighborhoods on foot and feel more connected to the nooks and crannies of the city. Training during the fall has also been amazingly beautiful. Everywhere I turn, beautiful leaves and that golden sunshine shimmer. Our weekend targets feel like light and playful mini adventures instead of training torture time. This lesson reminds me to make life’s daily tasks of laundry or dishes a bit more fun and playful instead of resting into the default mindset of “chores are painfully boring.” I’ll ask myself, what would make this feel 2% more fun right now?  Maybe putting on some good jams, listening to an audiobook or setting a timer to gamify the task helps make it fun. In today’s dark times, it is important to find fun and lightness when possible. 

2. I can do hard things! 

This is a mantra I’ve borrowed from Glennon Doyle. I’ve noticed, at the 8/10 mile mark on our training walks my hips and legs start to talk to me. Exhaustion and pain become the main mental focus. It’s at this point where mental strength is needed. The desire to slow down or quit becomes real. Noticing the pain with loving acknowledgment and then putting my focus back on “I can do hard things” inspires me to keep moving forward. I don’t have to push through any pain to meet my goals. Acknowledging the pain but not getting trapped in the story of pain is helpful. My training in Pilates has taught me to listen deeply to my body and avoid painful movements. Learning to discern what feels like a painful ouch and what feels like stretchy growth pain is an awareness I am building. Repeating the phrase, “I can do hard things” helps me return to the present moment. I breathe in deeper and gather more strength to keep walking forward. This practice doesn’t just help me on training days. It helps me when I feel my mental/emotional/spiritual capacity is low. I take a deep breath and say, “I can do hard things.” I muster resilience to keep moving forward at whatever pace I can. It doesn’t have to be fast, but I know how important it is to keep showing up.

3. Kindness is key. 

My body responds well to kindness. She doesn’t like “Drill Sargent” energy. Following a training schedule teaches me to stay curious and kind with my body. I can’t just go from A to Z the first time I do something. Even if my mind thinks I can.  Baby steps are needed to help build capacity to get to the next level. It is kind “to go slow so that I can go fast.” Treating my body with curiosity and kindness helps me pay attention to what type of fuel and nourishment she needs. This has looked like more protein and water than usual. I’ve needed to stay consistent with meals throughout the day.  My body has needed me to use a foam roller on her every morning, night and post long walks to bring extra nurturing. I need to keep my muscles tender like a nice piece of meat. Challenging my body inspires me to be gentle with her. The intensity of training has to be balanced with care. This applies to everyday life. When life gets very “lifey” and the clouds of stress and overwhelm roll in, I know my body needs kind attention even more. I can’t assume I can push her through the stress and get to the other side without injuries. She needs TLC to have the capacity to keep going. 

Which lesson resonates the most with you right now? Do you have your own training lessons? Share with me in the comments. Let’s continue to inspire each other. 

Let's Live

Yesterday, I woke up to three emails and one text from people in my circles who had just lost loved ones within the last week. I also received news of a family friend having a stroke and another one having a heart attack. I know death and sickness happen every day, but there is something about the Fall season that mirrors the fragility of life. 

This awareness of life’s fragility has been with me for so long, yet I still need daily reminders.

I remember, in high school and college, watching classmates do stupid things (yes, this is a judgmental opinion) as they drank absurd amounts or chose to harm or objectify their bodies in many ways. It was hard for me to understand why people would distress their bodies. Their health? (Noting that even when you do take care of your health to the best of your ability, nothing is guaranteed)

As a 9-year-old girl, the “C” word came into my life. I lost my godmother to her battle with breast and ovarian cancer. As an 11-year-old girl, I watched my mother undergo intensive chemotherapy for her Leukemia, which bought her only a decade more on this planet. I was 15 years old when my sister was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and then I was 21 years old when the same diagnosis arrived on my doorstep. 

Life is short and oh-so-precious. I have learned this in my own body and witnessed it around me. I am sure you have too!

Even on the days that feel shitty and tough. Even during those periods of life where deep rupture and re-birth are happening are precious, life is a gift not to be wasted.

When I catch myself scrolling mindlessly before I meditate in the mornings, I gently ask myself, is this how I want to spend my time? I pause. I look up and around me. I connect to my environment—usually looking out the window to see the trees and nature. Or I make eye contact with my husband. I re-ground to three-dimensional life that is around and inside of me. 

Living life doesn’t just mean doing cool things that better the world. For me, it means being present for it. 

Feeling fresh air in my lungs. Rain on my face. Observing golden and red leaves shifting colors and shapes. It means not having my phone at the dinner table so that I can be present to listen and share. It means calling and texting my friends weekly. It means telling the people I love how much they mean to me—not being afraid to be vulnerable and share my heart. It means prioritizing time with the people I care about and letting go of the excess just because I feel a need to people-please. 

This month, as we begin to watch the leaves die, I welcome us all to live. 

Nothing teaches us more about living than death. 

What would help you feel the most alive today? What have you been wanting to prioritize but have put off for various reasons and excuses that our human minds tend to do? What would support you feeling alive before the end of 2023?

Four prompts to Enhance Communication (with self & others)

The last 6-months opened my ears to a whole new layer of communication.

The theme of ‘Mindful Communication’ has been a popular corporate offering to enhance connection and psychological safety during times of uncertainty.  The last few months, I took the time and space to examine my own communication patterns. As I do in all of my work, I walk beside my clients.

I can’t teach or facilitate what I am not practicing myself. 

Communication is truly the foundation of our relationships. It’s a thread that helps us feel safe, seen and connected to one another. It can be so easy to say, “I am a fine communicator,” but the way we choose our words can easily also be interpreted as a weapon or an olive branch depending on the situation.

If we just point fingers at how other people communicate, but we don’t pause to explore our own impact, we risk creating division.

As social beings, this skill of communication is essential to our well-being–even the way we communicate and cultivate a relationship with ourselves! 

The other night, after I co-hosted this amazing in-person event with Centered in the City members and my co-host, “Hey Danie Bakes”, I reflected on how it went. Everyone shared how amazing they felt after movement and meditation. How delicious the food was and how special it was to connect with people in person. 

And yet, the critical mind chirped up and said, “You could have done better.” The critical mind gave me a whole running list.

As I drove home (yes, I drove!), I lovingly laughed at myself. My loving, wise inner self said, “Wade, you spent the night focused on nourishing your soul. Nagging, judgmental Judy’s voice doesn’t feel very nourishing, does it?”

I got into a warm bath and put my hand on my heart. I felt an inner emotional bruise in the center of my chest.

I can be unnecessarily harsh on myself, as most of us can be. Instead of allowing toxic thoughts to spread and bring me down a spiral, I brought my mindfulness practice to the suffering.

I didn’t ignore my pain.

I gently met my pain and whispered: “Ouch, this hurts. It’s okay, sweetheart. I see you care deeply about your work and want a positive impact. May I know I am not the only one who tends to be self-critical. There are other people like me.” I remind myself I would never talk to a baby the way I talk to myself.

This moment of self-compassion was like an inner healing love balm. No matter how often I learn the lesson, I get to keep learning it. 

I will continue to practice communicating through kindness—internally and externally.

As we transition into a new season, it might be a great opportunity to explore your communication patterns. 

One of the ways we can examine our communication, which I learned from Oren Jay, a Buddhist teacher and author, is to ask ourselves without judgment:
 

• How truthful am I being?

• How kind am I being?

• How helpful am I being?

• How timely am I being?
   

These pillars of mindful communication can help us explore what areas of communication we most commonly express ourselves from and growth opportunities. 

Have an insight? Share with me.

What Clogged Sinks Can Teach Us

Our bathroom sink kept making those gurgling noises. You know that delayed, gulp sound because water takes too long to drain.

I heard it happening weeks ago. Yet, I ignored it.

The early warning signs were there, but it didn’t feel like a priority. I kept pushing it to the back of my mind and thought, “I will deal with it when it is a big enough problem.” 

This weekend, I caught myself in this thought loop again and paused to ask with kindness and curiosity: ”What was I waiting for?” For the pipe to explode? For the whole sink to malfunction? What was a big enough problem?

Why was I waiting for something big to happen to take action? 

It made me realize how often we, humans, get into this thought loop where we see the early signs of stress or anxiety showing up in our life, but we choose to look the other way. We don’t make it or ourselves a priority.

For instance, we might have months of digestional tract issues and ignore the signs of anxiety or food sensitivities the body is responding to. Or we are waking up in the middle of the night for multiple weeks, ruminating over a recent relationship stressor instead of facing it head-on.  

As I stood in the bathroom looking down at the drain, I said to myself. This ends today.

I grabbed the drain snake, a bowl, vinegar, and baking soda and went to work. I cleaned and unclogged the drain in 15 minutes.

I‘ll spare you the details of how disgusting it was, but it was also tremendously satisfying. Turning on the faucet and hearing the water flow smoothly down the drain was music to my ears.

It felt empowering to give the house some love and to face the stressor I had been resisting for weeks. And best of all, unclogging the drain took less time and energy than my mind thought.

I didn’t need to build a story in my mind that it would be a horrible experience and cause a big mess and ruin my weekend. Instead, I was reminded how giving care and attention feels pleasant.

I welcome you this month to explore, where in your life might there be a “clogged sink” you are ignoring?

What would it be like to lovingly acknowledge those clogged sinks before they get too backed up?

If you were to take one tiny action step this month to unclog one sink, what would it be? Share with me here.

Decision Making Framework

With so many options and the pressure of her, admittedly self-enforced’, tight timeline, Nelly’s nervous system enters freeze mode. Her body is telling her to rest and slow down, but life keeps piling on change and transition. Can you relate?

My client Nelly, a driven, ambitious manager at a tech company came to coaching because she has some significant life transitions and wants to make choices “on purpose”, yet was feeling overwhelmed and frozen with indecision. Nelly wants to find a role where she can sense positive and practical change and impact in the greater world. Nelly also finds herself searching for love and partnership and is open to moving cities to find her person. 

A common theme that’s been present in my coaching sessions lately is the desire to make decisions without regret. 

Decision-making is challenging. So many thinking traps show up for people. 

The mind catastrophizes certain outcomes. For instance, “if I move to New York, I will never find my partner because the dating world sucks there”. 

Should statements, such as: “I should really take that job because it makes more money and gives me upward mobility”. 

The monkey mind, a buddhist term that describes the variety of anxious thoughts and stories that bounce around, chirps “what if” statements.” “What if I made the wrong decision?” “What if I waste my prime years in the wrong place.”

All human beings experience thinking traps and the monkey mind. A huge piece of our work together is continuing to bring conscious awareness to Nelly’s thoughts, again and again, so that she can untangle and ‘choose’ from a place of freedom and perspective instead of victim mode.

A helpful mindfulness framework I’ve personally been working with as well as sharing with my clients is playing with the acronym of TAL when making decisions. It is a powerful way to get unstuck from our thinking traps and find more freedom to be present.

T rust

A ccept 

L et go. 

What TAL looks like in practice…

When at a decision point (big or small), I trust the wisdom of my first instinct, which comes from an embodied place, not from the analytical part of my brain that automatically weighs the pros and cons. But instead, I listen to that inner whisper in my gut that doesn't have words but speaks with a gravitational pull. I can trust myself in the present moment that I made the best decision with the information I had, in the moment. I also think of my future self and trust I am going to make the “best” decision for her. 

Accept reality. I accept (to the best of my ability) the choice I made. No need to spiral into rumination. I will never know if it was truly the “right” decision or “best” response.  I quiet my perfectionist mind, and know it is the “right” response in this moment. The more I accept, the more I can enjoy the journey and learn. I am not wasting time or energy fighting with reality. 

Lastly, I get to practice letting go of my attachment to the outcome and letting go of any emotions of regret. Regret is sticky. It is a strong emotion that can tie into guilt and shame. But, similar to guilt, it is only a helpful emotion in that it can remind us to pay attention to our values. It is never wise to hold ourselves prisoners of our actions. Forgiveness and self-compassion practices become essential to set ourselves free from the past so that we can be more present in the here and now and move forward with more clarity. 

‘

Practicing TAL helps train our mind, emotions and nervous system how to come back to the present moment. The present moment is the only moment we have control of. 

I emphasize this is a practice because our thoughts and emotions are super sticky. However, I promise you with all my heart that the more you practice TAL, the more trust you will build. The more time and energy you will save and the more present you will be. 

Noting and Labeling Thoughts

I am two days off a week-long silent mediation retreat. As I type, my fingers feel like wobbling baby giraffe legs learning to walk for the first time. The theme of this Insight meditation retreat was kindness and care. My heart feels full of love, which is delicious and vulnerable. 
 

This was a magical retreat for so many reasons, and I’ll be sharing more details in an upcoming Centered in the City podcast. However, I do want to offer one powerful mindfulness practice that you can play with this month – a practice I played with daily that helped me create some inner calm and clarity. 
 

I never used to believe in retreats. I thought they were a privileged way to escape everyday life, but I have come to deeply value the intentional space and perspective shifts. When we go on a silent retreat, we are fully untangling from our daily habits, simplifying life and creating space for deep practice. Every time I go on retreat, I feel like I get a crash course in understanding myself. The silence used to scare me, but now it is one of my favorite aspects of the adventure. I get to put down the social pressure of small talk. I let go of technology distractions and the desire to over-fill my schedule. I give myself full permission to “let my beingness lead” (words from Jozen Tamori Gibson) versus the Western culture-based ‘doing’ that tends to be a big part of how we measure our self-worth.
 

I walked into this retreat feeling a lot of heavy and painful emotions. Revisiting some of my past traumas and pain is never “fun”. However, I know it is the only way to grow. As my teacher, Tuere Sala says: “Suffering wakes us up. When we respond to suffering with care, we end up not becoming a victim to it, but instead, we get to learn from it.”
 

What do I mean by suffering, you may be wondering? Suffering can take many forms. It can come in daily doses of failed expectations. It can show its face as deep grief or heartbreak or can refer to general overwhelm or feeling lost. When we take the time and space to slow down life and mindfully pay attention, we can learn from our suffering in an empowering way. We don’t have to feel trapped by it.
 

A huge myth in meditation is that you want your mind to go “blank,” that you want to empty your mind of all thoughts. That’s not the case! We actually do want to know our thoughts and want to gain that awareness. However, we want to do it skillfully in order to avoid getting absorbed in the story of our thoughts. 
 

Below, I offer you a practice to try this month that will help you get to know your thoughts more intimately. This can be in a formal meditation practice or informally, like sipping your morning cup of coffee or going for a walk. 
 

Can you see your thoughts like images on a movie screen? They are occurring, but not staying. They are happening, but they aren’t you. Does this resonate?
 

As you witness your thoughts, practice labeling them. For instance, thoughts float by: “Oh shoot, I forgot to send that email last week.” Or “What should I make for dinner tonight?” Or even more loaded thoughts, such as: “I can’t believe I said that in my meeting yesterday. I feel so embarrassed and am scared what my team thinks of me now. Maybe I should send a Slack message to explain what happened.” Or, “Jessica sounds so professional and confident when she gives presentations. I want to sound that way too.” 
 

Label these thoughts: “Ruminating.” “Planning.” “Fixing.” “Comparing.” When we can practice labeling our thoughts, we create space from the fabricated stories. We come closer to living in the present moment with more equanimity and clarity.
 

Try this practice for a few days in a row, and, you will start to notice your mind’s patterns. For me, I notice how much my mind plans! Having the chance this week to note, label, note and label again and again allowed me to distinguish when this mental patterning is skillful and when it is unskillful. I got to understand the suffering more intimately. This intimacy offers me freedom. Freedom to choose differently. Freedom to build new neural networks in the mind. Freedom to show up more authentically. 
 

Sending care and compassion to my “planning mind” is more skillful than drowning myself in shame or trying to ignore the patterning. I am walking away from this retreat with a refreshing reminder that when we meet our minds with care, anything is possible.


Let me know what resonates with you and this practice by replying back to this email. I am here to support if you have any questions. 

Managing Negative Self-Talk

“You need to figure it out faster. The deadline is approaching. You can do better!” I sharply yelled at my inner self. My heart raced. My eyes darted back and forth, scanning my to-do list and computer, thinking that if I stared longer at my screen I would get the inspiration to work faster.

I could feel my shoulders curl and round into my ears, tension draping down my back like a protective cape. My nervous system was vibrating in a hyperaroused state (aka ‘fight/flight’).

Do you know the sensation?

A few minutes later, I paused with surprise at the words and tone I just heard in my inner dialogue.

I took a deep breath.

I dropped my shoulders down my back. My jaw unclenched.

I closed my eyes and inhaled for the count of six -- feeling the cool air through my nostrils -- and exhaled for the count of four, feeling warmth.

I placed my hand over my heart and gently apologized to myself: “I am sorry I yelled at you. You are doing the best you can. You are capable. May this be fun and easeful.”

My body immediately melted. The pressure and narrow focus I felt behind my eyes and temples softened. I felt ease in my chest and fingers. I felt more joy back in my body.

Stress doesn’t just arrive because of outside circumstances or deadlines.

We humans have the power to create internal stress based on how we talk to ourselves. This stress, whether it is external or internal, affects our nervous systems.

Our nervous systems are the ‘software systems’ of our bodies and brains. They help us move, eat, digest, procreate and have access to various parts of our brain centers.

Just as our sympathetic nervous system gets activated when we hear someone scream the words “fire” in our external world, so do the words of emergency that we say to ourselves in our internal world. This phenomenon isn’t woo woo. It is based on research from Dr. Dan Siegel who coined The Window of Tolerance. 

Sometimes this internal stress provoking self-talk can be skillful. Maybe it helps you feel motivated or gives you energy to “perk” up.

However, if we are consistently talking to ourselves with a tone of “work faster and harder, fire is coming”, we will lead our bodies into a hyperaroused state that can lead us down the path of burnout pretty quickly.

As the first quarter of the year ends and we set our gaze on what’s next, personally and professionally, I welcome you to pay attention to your self-talk:

What are the words you say to yourself? What’s the tone? When you pause to pay attention, how does your internal dialogue affect your nervous system?

Everything we say has an energetic impact.

One year ago today

Exactly one year ago today, I was sitting down for my fourth day of a 28-day silent meditation retreat.

I remember that, at the end of the retreat, I felt so proud of and grateful for my experience, yet I was quite confident I didn’t need to make this retreat an annual engagement (you can listen to my retreat recap here on the Centered in the City podcast). However, here I am 12 months later, and I am missing that luxurious space for extended introspection. 

Do you crave reflection space ?

Life is busy, loud, fast and full. That’s why I am so passionate about finding ways to sustainably create rituals that help me pause and slow down. I know I am not alone.

One of my coaching clients mentioned that creating a ritual has helped her slow down. She feels more peace and, most importantly, has helped release herself from the negative-thinking spiral. She feels empowered and capable to do her job and show up to meetings feeling more confident.

I might not be able to take a month away from my life every year, but I can take 30 minutes for a walking meditation or 15 minutes to sit and eat my lunch mindfully.

Claiming that time for myself is one of my most impactful practices. I get to remember that I deserve to take care of my mind and body. It’s not selfish, it is smart.

Do you have rituals you love? If so, tell me about them below. If you don’t have rituals, are you interested in creating them? Schedule a Connection Call with me here.

Waiting is Not Wasting Mantra

A phrase I keep repeating in my mind of late is: “Waiting is not wasting.” Spending a few weeks in Latin America is a physical reminder of a slower pace. At the same time, I feel my American “I want it, and I want it now” sense of entitlement and immediacy pulse through my veins, yet the impatience melts at the confluence of Latin American slow-loving rhythm.

Patience is part of my ‘Power Intention’ for 2023, and I am already learning so much just one month into the new year. 

One example: Sitting at a cafe near the beach in Santa Marta, Colombia, my husband and I ‘hangerly’ waited a long time for our lunch to arrive. A very long time. I could feel my body tighten and fidgety energy in my eyes, fingers and feet. Impatience was brewing, but luckily, I had my patience practice to lean into. 

I asked myself to soften and open up to the present moment. Where was I rushing off to? I wanted to be able to enjoy the moment even if I was frustrated and hangry that our food was taking longer than it ‘should'. I wanted to be in the present and accept the practice of waiting instead of resisting.

My mind gets caught in “waiting” for bigger life moments to occur all of the time, whether it is a career milestone, an exciting life update, a planned trip or even lunch. When my mind gets hooked on the future, I get disconnected from the present and lose sight of some of the wonder that comes from waiting in the moment.

Opening up to the present helps me connect to the essence of ‘enough.’ I get to trust there is enough time. I get to trust this moment has enough life that it’s worth paying attention to the moment instead of idealizing how it could or should be. Life is full of neutral moments. Learning to be with and even appreciate neutral moments is where my mindfulness practice is supporting me.

Where in your life can you apply the mantra of “waiting is not wasting”? Maybe it’s while you search for your next career move? Maybe it’s while you navigate a romantic relationship? Maybe it’s a helpful reminder as you transition into your meditation practice? Or even while you wait in the grocery checkout line (see podcast meditation episode for support).

Share your thoughts with me below or send me a note here.

My favorite New Year Ritual to Center for what comes next

This is my favorite New Year tradition. If you have been in my community, you know that I have been practicing this ritual for years! And if you are new to me, welcome!

Grab your journal, your favorite drink and get cozy…

Grounding myself with a word or short phrase, also known as my power intention, is one of the most powerful tools I practice, year after year. Instead of feeling overwhelmed with all of the individual "things" I could do or should do in 2023, my power intention helps me cut through the outside noise. I am able to make more focused decisions based on my authentic needs and wants. I have a clear sense of my priorities. Whenever I feel stuck, I re-ground into my power intention to help guide the way.

Do you have your own ritual? If not, selecting an empowering word or phrase is a great way to clarify and prioritize your desires and wants -- supporting you living and loving your life.

My 2022 power intention had two pillars: “BOLD & Love.” These words helped me take some bold and loving action this last year. I said YES to a month-long silent meditation retreat (Learn more about that experience here on the podcast). I lived and worked abroad in Mexico for a month. My business marked its boldest year ever with many repeat corporate clients as well as a growing community in my private practice and Centered in the City membership. Bold supported me working through fear and self-doubt as I wrote my first book proposal. I felt more confident and courageous taking stretchy action because I knew my power intention for the year was giving me permission to act and ‘be’ this way. I was able to chose love when deeply hurt or triggered by relationships in my life. This helped me dispel a lot of reactive energy and stay more open and present. Leaning into love helped me choose abundance and generosity when scarcity thoughts or emotions arose.

I am so grateful for this year’s power intention for all the ways I have learned and grown. I notice that a part of me wants to hold on to them for next year (I notice I have felt this every year!), yet I remind myself that they are still within me. They don’t disappear. They transform. They are embedded in my muscle memory, and now I get to make way for a new area of focus.

My 2023 power intention is…. Patience and Deep Listening. These words came to me through this reflection practice I have below. The practice of patience has tapped on my shoulder for many years, yearning to be focused on. I have ignored the whispers thinking that practicing patience is only for kids. My anxious nervous system has made being patient really challenging — learning to practice equanimity and let time and outcomes unfold how they will is part of the process. Patience is about releasing control and finding freedom in the “waiting.” I get to trust that “waiting” doesn’t mean “wasting.” My heart, my relationships and personal/professional goals are calling for patience — more space to bloom and blossom. I can’t rush nature, so why would I try to rush my life? For me, patience is about resting back into trust, opening up and creating space for possibilities.

Deep Listening comes from my desire to listen to my intuition, be connected to my spiritual practices and refine a different expression of love. Even though I am not going to spend a month in silence this year, I am committed to deeply listening to the many dimensions of life. I find it skillful to listen below the surface and noise. To me, deep listening is an expression of love and honor. To give myself and others a type of presence that can easily be lost in a loud/chaotic world. I have discovered that when I deeply listen to myself, there is inner alignment that helps create more ease and flow in life. Reactive choices dissipate when I deeply listen. In order to deeply listen, I get to slow down. These words together help me feel balanced and connected to who I want to be, how I want to live and feel in 2023.

As I set my power intention for a new year, I get to pay attention to what Patience and Deep Listening feel like in my body, what activities help me tap into these words and how I get to choose my power intention on a daily basis. These words get to be the lens through which I experience life over the next 12 months. How exciting!!!

Now it’s your turn. What is your one word or phrase you want to embrace in this new decade as your power intention?

To support your reflection process, walk through these steps and see what you discover:

1.  Journal the prompts below:

• What are you celebrating from 2022? Where do you see some gaps?

• How do you want to feel in 2023? (Describe in full detail)

• What would your life look like if you gave yourself full permission to do, to be or to say anything?

2. Reflect on what you just wrote, and circle all of the words that stand out to you. Now, narrow it down to one, two or three words (no more than that or it just turns into a laundry list). Pay attention to what word(s) support how you want to feel and be in 2023.

3. Ask yourself: Does this word (or words) create an empowering phrase for me? If yes, you got your power intention for 2023!

If not, narrow your word choice down by closing your eyes and breathing each word in and out. Notice which word stands out to you the most and note whether it brings you tingles, opens your heart, creates some fire in your belly or makes you smile. What word(s) help inspire the year you want to live? These are typically signs that you discovered something meaningful.

4. Now, create a visual for your power intention. Whether it is a fancy drawing or a post-it note, place a visual of your power intention where you will see it on a daily basis.

Take note as the perfect word or words come alive for you! Please share! (in-person, email, social media, snaps, grams, by phone, or in the comments below!) 

If you did this activity last year, take a moment to reflect and connect. See what dots aligned and what you might want to do differently this upcoming year.

5. Use it or lose it. Let's start integrating your power intention into your life right away. Join me for my Intention Setting Party workshop to help you take your Power Intention to the next level.

Center Yourself This Holiday Season

As the holiday vibes pick up, I notice how easy it can be to let the twinkle of the season distract me from listening and honoring my needs. The lights, the music, the parties, shopping and travel, can bring joy as well as stress. Over the years, I have learned how to manage the holiday overwhelm and return to my center by setting intentions.

Setting intentions help us think about where we want to put our focus and attention. Intentions help us cut through the noise so we can listen to ourselves. Below is a centering tool you can download and return to every week this holiday season to feel your authentic self.

Step 1. Download Your Centered for the Holiday tool

Step 2. Set your intentions for this season. Think about how you want to feel and be and write them in the past tense. (ie. My intention: I felt present in my mind and body. I hydrated and nourished myself and my relationships with love and care).

Step 3. Highlight five rituals and practices you want to commit to that support your staying aligned with your intentions. For instance, I ask myself, what rituals and practices support me in staying present in my mind and body? What sustains me nourishing and hydrating myself and my relationships? Write those practices down on the left-hand side and celebrate the days you prioritize them with a checkmark. 

Open Form

Centered for the Holidays

Three Ways to Shift from Scarcity to Generosity

The act of giving used to be difficult for me. And I would be lying if I said it still wasn't a conscious practice. However, I have learned to tap into an authentic way to “give”, from a place of abundance. Giving from the heart feels damn good! 

Holidays, birthdays, weddings and fundraisers are all opportunities to celebrate and demonstrate how much we care about our community. In North American culture, the expectation is to give through physical gifts or financial donations. When faced with the holidays or even a birthday celebration, I could often feel my body and nervous system tighten with fear. Thoughts of, “Gahh what am I going to get this person?” or “I don’t have much money to spend, how will they know I care?” My scarcity mindset would get triggered. My value of love bumped heads with my fear of spending money. I’d get wrapped in thought loops where I believed that giving and being generous could only come through money. 

Practice these three steps below to challenge your own scarcity mindset and, instead, choose generosity. Ask yourself these questions as a journaling prompt, a question you want to sit with during meditation or on a solo walk in the park.

1. Ask yourself, what does being generous mean?

I untangled myself from the unhelpful belief that, in order to be a generous person, I had to be abundant with financial resources. I did this by grabbing my journal and exploring what generosity truly meant to me. I realized I was entangled in society's definition of generosity, not my own. Exploring generosity in more depth, I determined being generous is about giving love and presence. 

This demonstration of love and presence can take many forms. I value expressing love by cooking and baking for people. I love giving my time and attention. I demonstrate presence by practicing deep listening—​remembering what people say makes them feel valued. Learning what generosity authentically meant, to me, helped empower me to express it in my own way. I no longer feel pressured to “give” in a way that doesn’t sit well.

2. What does it feel like to be generous? What does it feel like to act from scarcity?

Tuning into our bodies for answers and insights is key. Noticing and labeling physical sensations we feel around giving can offer helpful cues so that one can respond to the situation more skillfully. Being generous is a conscious choice. When I am generous, I feel warmth in my chest. I notice a desire to care for people. Being generous feels really damn good. It feels even more delightful when it’s shared from an authentic space. I want them to feel loved and seen. When I act from scarcity, I feel my body shut down. It feels yucky and dirty. I tighten. I feel my heart close off. Paying attention to these physical sensations lets my brain take a pause to evaluate the situation. When I notice the unpleasant physical sensations of scarcity kick up, I ask myself this next question so that I can take action from my values. Not my fears.  

3. Ask yourself, who do I want to be in the world? 

Who do I want to be in this world? Big question, I know, but it helps us get out of tunnel vision and instead, think about how we want to show up in our communities. Asking myself this question connects me to my values. I understand what’s important to me. I think of who I admire and why. I reflect on what feels meaningful and important. If scarcity sensations are present, I ask myself, who do I want to be in the world? It helps me visualize a loving, generous and open person. When I can visualize those values, I can begin to feel them, and they give me strength to act from an intrinsic place of want. 

I welcome you to take time this holiday season and explore these questions. Allow your insights to support you untangling from any societal pressures. Instead, give from your own unique senses and perspective.

Gift Guides To Help You Feel Centered This Season

May this Gift Guide inspire generosity and love to yourself, your loved ones and the world.

1. Digital Alarm Clock:

   Ditch the phone as your alarm clock. An old school alarm clock is the best way to wake up and start the day. It helps minimize anxiety and reduces mindless scrolling. I personally like battery alarm clocks so I have freedom to move it around.
   

2. Fav Jumper to Lounge in:

   Stay cozy all day long in this jumper. It's great to dress up for video calls with a cute sweater/blazer or run errands with some cute boots/sneakers.
   

3. Bala Bangles:

   These have been my favorite weights for years because of their look and feel. I use them in my pilates flows on my ankles for additional strength, or for arms. They are also easy travel companions.
   

4. Mid-Day Squares:

   My favorite go-to snack. It satisfies my sweet tooth and I stay satiated longer because it’s filled with protein. Gifting a box to yourself or a loved one will put a smile on anyone's face and belly. Use code: Wade15 to get 15% off of your order.
   

5. The Five-Minute Journal’s "Well-being Bundle”:

   This Well-being bundle includes a journal and affirmation card set. The journal is full of simple daily prompts that support you committing to your well-being practices, and it’s always nice to pull some affirmation cards!
   

6. Lure Essentials:
   I love these myofascial silicon suction cups. Two of my massage therapists have recommended them to me. I use them mostly on my calves and feet, a few times each week. They reduce tightness and increase blood flow. Great gift for yourself or a loved one who is into body care.
   

7. Centered in the City membership:
   You know I am all about spreading those centered vibes. This platform is for those looking to incorporate holistic mindfulness rituals and practices to feel your damn best so that you can navigate the ups and downs of life.
   

8. Mini at-Home Trampoline:

   I love using this in between calls for a dose of movement, mindset shift and energy boost. Gently using a trampoline is also great for purifying your lymphatic system.
   

9. Needed:
   I am such a fan of this company and love these hydration packages. They have this cute set for the holidays that’s a great stocking stuffer, or if you are looking to stay more hydrated, order for yourself. Use code CENTER for 20% off one-time purchases.
   

10. Vitamix:

    My favorite kitchen gadget! I will only make smoothies or soups in the Vitamix because it creates the smooth and even texture I crave. They are pricey, but worth the long-term investment.
    

11. Meditation Pillows
    If you like your cushions soft and more “beanbag-esque” check out Avocado. If you like your cushions a little harder, check out these Zafus.
    

12. The 'Partner Review Process':
    Give the gift of co-creation to your relationships. I look forward to doing this process with my husband every year because it gets us on the same page and helps us co-create our vision for the year ahead. Last year, I put it into a self-paced video series so that you too can co-create your year ahead with your partner.
    

13. Circadian Light Therapy Lamp:

    During the winter months in Seattle, I need some light therapy support to keep my energy and mood balanced. This is a great lamp to add to your meditation practice or place on your work desk.
    

14. Food Bank for NYC:
    Local food bank in New York City that accepts food or money donations.
    

15. NorthWest Harvest:

    Washington State's leading hunger relief agency that accepts food or money donations.
    

16. The Love Land Foundation:

    Their fund provides financial assistance to Black women and girls seeking therapy, nationally.
    

17. Doctors without Borders:

    Cares for people around the world affected by diseases and disasters.
    

18. Save The Children:

    Helps feed, cloth and support children in crisis around the world.
    

19. National Network of Abortion Funds:

    Abortion funds provide financial assistance, travel, lodging, and many other types of support to abortion seekers.
    

20. Want some homemade gift ideas? Check out these Healthy for the Holidays recipes.

How Will You Spend Your Time?

There are 8 weeks left in 2022. Can you believe it?

I heard someone announce this on a call, and I quickly brushed the observation away because I found it to be unpleasant.

It created antsy discomfort in my body.

Noticing that my body had a physical reaction to the comment, I decided there was more to uncover.

After the call, I took a #mindfulmoment to pause and check in with myself.

My mind oscillated between feeling content, in disbelief, anxious and grateful. Thoughts of “oh sh*t I need to get x-y-z done before Thanksgiving” created a surge of unpleasant adrenaline.

Thoughts of holiday festivities created sensations of warmth. The idea of the new year and time speeding by created both anxious and excited feelings. All of the various thoughts, emotions and sensations are valid.

Taking a moment to pause and ground myself in reality helped me gain a sense of perspective.

I noticed I was locked into the flow of life, not paying attention to where I was in terms of my priorities and goals. Even though time and the annual calendar is a construct, it is also a helpful, organizing container. 

Pausing and noticing my insights gave me awareness that I could possibly drop some extra work projects that I was truly tempted to take on.

The achiever in me wanted to lead. However, instead of getting ‘more’ done, I realized I wanted to focus on quality. 

Checking in reminded me of my true priorities. I came back to my Power Intention for 2022 and the work I did in setting my intentions for the year.

Making this choice from a place of insight versus reactionary impulses felt so damn empowering.

I know I am honoring myself by staying true to my intuition. I am not getting distracted by the very tempting, “shiny” objects.
 

I welcome you to pause with me here and take a #mindfulmoment to check in with yourself.

Turn your gaze inwards and observe with a lens of kindness and curiosity.

Feel your feet planted on the ground and know you are present in this moment.

Slow down to feel your breath. Tune into the thoughts in the mind. Notice what sensations are present in your body.
 

What do you feel and think when you hear we have about 8 weeks of 2022 left? 

Spend a few minutes allowing your mind and heart to wander. Give yourself permission to listen. 

Now that you have gained that sense of awareness and data, how does that shift or change what you want to prioritize in the next few weeks? …if anything!

When we pause to check in with ourselves, we can learn to listen to our intuition and insights. Taking action and living from that place of alignment feels so good!

Are you a Maximizer or Satisfier?

Do you tend to have more Maximizer or Satisfier traits? 

I used to be a “maximizer” in practically every aspect of my life. What this meant to me is: I wanted to make the very best choice at every decision point. For instance, from deciding what restaurant to eat at, what fitness class to take, how to schedule my day, what person to date, what time I should send that email, what I should eat or even what face wash to buy! You name it, I was maximizing it. 

What this mindset trait led to was consistent exhaustion, analysis paralysis, scarcity and ultimately self-doubt. I held onto the belief that there must be one single best decision, and if I didn’t make that decision, I was wasting my time/energy/life (ie. failing at life). It is especially interesting because research demonstrates that maximizers are more likely to be depressed, overly perfectionistic and prone to regret or self-blame. 

I finally hit a wall and realized that leaning into my maximizer tendencies was generally not helpful. My meditation practice and other introspection avenues helped me gain insight into my behaviors, thoughts and emotions. I realized I could separate my sense of worth and identity from the outcome of a decision.

I decided I would rather not waste time and energy searching for the best restaurant every single time we ate out because it was distracting me from the present moment and what really mattered. I still consider myself a foodie and someone who values going to good restaurants, but I no longer grasp every decision so tightly. 

Leaning into “satisfier” traits means that good enough is enough. Focusing on this trait helps create more loving spaciousness in my relationship with my husband. It has also supported me strengthening self-trust, listening to my intuition and increasing my energy levels. 

The good thing is that we all have both maximizer and satisfier traits within us. Which one do you notice driving your primary operating system? Do you see a pattern in your life that you wish to adjust even a little bit? If so, tell me about it! Drop me a note here.